Mar. 5th, 2013 10:53
Coincidences
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cosOn the drive to Connecticut this weekend I listened to an episode of This American Life about coincidences. Several stories of coincidences were told, some rally excellent, others nothing special. One idea they explored was that when a coincidence happens to you, you view it more significantly or remember it more than when you hear about a similar coincidence happening to someone else.
It got me thinking of a coincidence that happened to my parents last year.
When I was very little we lived in Jinja, Uganda, where my parents had been living for several years before I was born. My parents divorced here in the US, and my father remarried here.
My stepmother had never been to Africa. Last year, my dad planned a long vacation for the two of them to Uganda and Tanzania, to show her all the places and things from his past. They were going to see wildlife, and nature, and the cities, and visit Jinja and see if our former house was still there.
In the spring my stepmother's mother was diagnosed with cancer, and it was clearly going to be fatal within a year, so my parents cancelled the trip. While she was still here, they weren't going anywhere. As it turned out, the cancer progressed very quickly, and she died three months later, in the summer, during the time that they would've been in Africa.
Her final few days were right on the dates when, if they'd gone to Africa, my parents would've been in Jinja. Spending those days at the hospital with her, they met her nighttime caretaker, who'd become good friends with my stepgrandmother in a short time. A young woman from Jinja, Uganda. She and my dad traded stories, and when he described where we'd lived, she knew the street and recognized the description and told him the house was still there.
[ My parents did go to Africa this winter and did most of what they'd planned for the summer trip. ]
...
Tell a story of a coincidence you know of? One that happened to someone else, who told you about it, and you remembered it.
It got me thinking of a coincidence that happened to my parents last year.
When I was very little we lived in Jinja, Uganda, where my parents had been living for several years before I was born. My parents divorced here in the US, and my father remarried here.
My stepmother had never been to Africa. Last year, my dad planned a long vacation for the two of them to Uganda and Tanzania, to show her all the places and things from his past. They were going to see wildlife, and nature, and the cities, and visit Jinja and see if our former house was still there.
In the spring my stepmother's mother was diagnosed with cancer, and it was clearly going to be fatal within a year, so my parents cancelled the trip. While she was still here, they weren't going anywhere. As it turned out, the cancer progressed very quickly, and she died three months later, in the summer, during the time that they would've been in Africa.
Her final few days were right on the dates when, if they'd gone to Africa, my parents would've been in Jinja. Spending those days at the hospital with her, they met her nighttime caretaker, who'd become good friends with my stepgrandmother in a short time. A young woman from Jinja, Uganda. She and my dad traded stories, and when he described where we'd lived, she knew the street and recognized the description and told him the house was still there.
[ My parents did go to Africa this winter and did most of what they'd planned for the summer trip. ]
...
Tell a story of a coincidence you know of? One that happened to someone else, who told you about it, and you remembered it.
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Many many years ago I was freshly divorced with two small children, and thought I'd give writing a try as a way to bring in income and still be able to take care of my daughters.
A friend of mine told me Marion Zimmer Bradley edited and published anthologies of short stories in addition to her novels, and perhaps I should start there. So, I picked up a couple of the anthologies, took them home and read them. One of the stories, about a barefoot princess who did not WANT to be rescued from her dragon, thankyouverymuch! stuck in my head. Knowing what I knew about MZB, I was more than a little surprised to find out the author was male. "Huh," I thought to myself, "I bet he'd be interesting. I wish I could meet him sometime."
(As a note, I did submit a few stories to MZB, and although none of them were accepted, 2 did make it all the way to the final cut. Unfortunately, that wasn't enough to bring any money in, so I quit trying and went back to school.)
Fast forward a whole bunch of years, to when my daughters are about 17 and 19. I had gone to Faerieworlds, as was my habit, and was camping with (several dozen) friends. One particular very popular friend arrived and was instantly swarmed by other people. Once the crowds cleared, and there were only a few of us left standing there, she looked around, did a doubletake, and promptly introduced me to a guy who had also been part of the crowd and who was now standing next to me, someone I'd never seen before, telling us we *really* needed to know each other. She spent the rest of the weekend doing her best to throw us together, quite unnecessarily, as it happened.
Probably a year later, when he and I were exchanging yet more stories of our histories, it came out that *he* was the author of that story, and publishing that story was effectively the start of his career as a writer. (Which went on to include being the line developer for the RPG my daughters had played with now-former housemates.)
We've been together almost 6 years now.
Oh, and? We have a publishing company now, that was accidentally formed when we put together an anthology to raise money for the friend who had introduced us.
As for other peoples' coincidences... my dad had a reputation in our family, because it didn't matter where we went, or how remote it was: there would always be at least one person there who knew him, either from playing with him in an orchestra, or from working with him in the NEA, or through one of the humanitarian projects he sometimes took on... I think it even happened when he and my stepmother went to Germany several years ago.
In his case, at least, it wasn't that we weren't impressed with the coincidences. It was just that it was CONSTANTLY happening!