mock spam challenge

[cos]

I challenge you all to write up a mock spam, expanding on the following theme:
"Portugal , you are a registered member of the Coalition of the Willing. This is an opt-in list [...]"

Combine your experience with all that "opt-in" spam, the Bush administration's coalition-inflation, and the fine new tradition of political mock spam, to entertain us all.

Comments

[goljerp]

Portugal, you are a registered member of the Coalition of the Willing. This is an opt-in list. Only Nations which have signed up to have larger, more fulfilling foreign-aid distributions are recieving this E-mail. Foreign aid is 100% natural, and is guaranteed to inflate your southern regions and make your intercourse with other nations last longer.

If you no longer wish to be a registered member, please click on the following link to become the hated enemy of the United States and have your national products renamed by a bored rubber-stamping congress who have nothing better to do with their time.
http://www.unitedstates.gov/countries/evil/I%20no%20longer%20want%20foreign%20aid%but%20want%to%20be%ridiculed.htm

[sauergeek.livejournal.com]

This leads to the question: if we're renaming Portuguese products, what will we call Port?

[goljerp]

if we're renaming Portuguese products, what will we call Port?

Right, although it might make shipboard communication odd ("Is it on the Right or the Starboard side?"). Still, I don't see any more logic in the congressional renaming so far.

[amare.livejournal.com]

I don't know how I would feel about drinking "Right"

[goljerp]

But just think about how happy the Port producers would be... "Want the Right drink? Drink Right. Because it's just Right for all occasions."

And the Right Authority of New York and New Jersey would sound better, too.

[sauergeek.livejournal.com]

This is all well and good, except for one minor detail: port means left. Starboard is right. "Drink the left drink!" doesn't have quite the same connotation.